Tuesday, February 28, 2006
50 Stately Poems
Fifty Stately Poems
Copyright c 1997 Evan Pritchard
All Rights Reserved
Print version available from Resonance Communications
PO Box 1028 Woodstock NY 12498 $5 plus $1 postage (212)714-7151
Was Annie Oakley lonely,
Should we pity her or not?
Was Annie OKLAHOMA alone a lot?
Allen had a temper,
And he drank a lot of gin,
They say ALABAMA door down
If he can’t get in.
The doctor said,
In a manner stately,
“Those who are ILLINOIS me greatly.
MISSOURI loves company
And so do I,
So hop on your steamboat
And drop on by!
The Chinese waitress took the husband’s order for a beer,
Then said, “Will the MISSISSIPPI cocktail
Before the main course here?”
Noah, to God, said
“If you please,
I’d like to leave this ARKANSAS some trees.”
Some soda bottles need a church key,
Some soda bottles need a twist,
MINNESOTA bottles need a bam bam bam
With a hammer in your fist.
Jean-Jacques, the hairdresser from Biddeford’s horse,
Had a MAINE, with a French accent, but of course!
When on the phone, its not quite etiquette,
To take the cord, and dis- CONNECTICUT.
Introducing his mother,
Jesus said,
“When you meet a VIRGINIA a should bow your head.”
The airport down in Baltimore
Was flooded in a great downpour.
Instructor Mary sighed in vain,
“Now where can MARYLAND this plane?”
In Civil War days, fashion was the theme,
You’d not be caught dead in certain color schemes:
In the SOUTH, DAKOTA grey would be the way to dress
But in the NORTH, DAKOTA grey would get you in a mess.
I met a hula dancer
She was dancing in a line
I asked, “HAWAII?”
And she answered, “I’m fine!”
My dog died in the desert,
He was faithful and true.
I NEVADA friend
Like my good dog blue.
If I didn’t have a bunion on my heel and my toe
IDAHO’d this patch of taters for you long ago!
There was a woman’s baseball team
That nobody could beat,
And could CAROLINA fastball
Into the left field seats!
There were two Carolinas on that team, so I hear,
One was from Norway, the other drank beer.
If you can’t guess their names,
I suppose that’s fine:
One was “Norse Carolina,”
One was “Soused Caroline.”
I poured Wisk on some gravy
I poured Wisk on some beans
I poured WISCONSIN oil stains
But it didn’t come clean.
Fred earned the wings of the Flight Captain’s job
With a lovely assistant, but she was a slob.
He fired the messy girl, whose name was Violet,
Then went out and hired a NEW MEXICO-pilot.
David McMurphy’s mom had a bad cold
The day that she came into his room to scold.
She saw all the clutter and laid down the law
“This is FLORIDA messies’ I eber saw!”
You walked cross country
In seventy-two,
But made it just half-way?
KANSAS be true?
Del filled the washer up with bluing!
Is DELAWARE of what he’s doing?
When lost in the jungle
Or any other instance,
NEBRASKA tiger
For assistance.
As I drink my soybean milk, I banter,
“IOWA debt to the Midwest planter!”
A juggler’s eyes are as sharp as can be,
But what can a man who plays TENNESSEE?
When I am in Fairbanks and lost in the snow,
ALASKA policeman which way to go.
The farmer bragged for hours how
He had acquired a NEW JERSEY cow.
The modern Lone Ranger with a speed radar checks us,
But like his old namesake, he also pro-TEXAS.
The prison guard turned on the “tube” with a grin
And said, “It’s time to Sing Along with MICHIGAIN!”
The cook said, ‘Get ready for lunch real soon;
I’ll be CALIFORNIA all about noon!”
A poor man won lotto, and made a coup,
And won a thousand pencils too.
He bragged, ‘til his friends said, “Get a job,
And don’t get PENNSYLVANIA slob!”
Everyone in Boston’s caught the flu since
Spring, an epidemic nuisance.
And as if it would help us all get through this
They went and named it a
MASSACHUSETTS.
When you land in England
To get a good footing,
You should ask to try
The NEW YORKshire pudding.
Minnie was a screwball,
Minnie was deranged.
You can COLORADOr weird,
But never call her strange!
I said, “Hi, Lee Roy Jones,
Your place looks like a sty.”
He said, “OHIO Mamma
Was just passin’ by!”
In all that Mother Goose they sell you,
There’s just one thing they never tell you,
The old woman who lived in a shoe
Was WASHINGTONs of laundry too.
George was the best, and everyone knew it;
“With GEORGIA-round, we let George do it.”
Louisie Smith was a proper spinster,
So LOUISIANA girlfriend
Went south for the winter.
Doc from Block Island
Had a runt pig,
He prayed to Providence
That it get big.
He named it “Little Island”
As it stood alone,
But he soon RHODE ISLAND to work
And back home.
Indy was afraid to face the weather,
So INDIANA friend went out together.
You can OM in old Frisco,
You can OM in Spokane,
You can OM up in Boulder
So WYOMING Cheyenne?
You can always tuck in Sally,
You can always tuck in Jim,
And after midnight, you
KENTUCKYven Billy-Bob in.
My cat was fast.
His name was Sid.
UTAHt you taw a putty tat…
And maybe you did!
I sit around and wait all day
With nothing much to do.
I wait VERMONTy Python
To come up on the tube.
Nothing could be wetter
Than Puget Sound,
But Flagstaff is the most
ARIZONAround.
The west of you girls can go and have fun,
But dere’s no WEST VIRGINIA
Till her homework is done.
We’ll visit VerMONTANAfew other states,
The rest of New England will have to have to wait.
John went camping with his hampster Tim,
Till a fat man came and sat on him.
He said, “You’ll have to find another camp, sir,
Unless you can find me a
Brand NEW HAMPSHIRE.
Orestes vowed to avenge his dad,
The murdered King Agamemnon.
His cruel mother, unsuspecting, said,
“Now where has little OREGON?”
Copyright c 1997 Evan Pritchard
All Rights Reserved
Print version available from Resonance Communications
PO Box 1028 Woodstock NY 12498 $5 plus $1 postage (212)714-7151
Was Annie Oakley lonely,
Should we pity her or not?
Was Annie OKLAHOMA alone a lot?
Allen had a temper,
And he drank a lot of gin,
They say ALABAMA door down
If he can’t get in.
The doctor said,
In a manner stately,
“Those who are ILLINOIS me greatly.
MISSOURI loves company
And so do I,
So hop on your steamboat
And drop on by!
The Chinese waitress took the husband’s order for a beer,
Then said, “Will the MISSISSIPPI cocktail
Before the main course here?”
Noah, to God, said
“If you please,
I’d like to leave this ARKANSAS some trees.”
Some soda bottles need a church key,
Some soda bottles need a twist,
MINNESOTA bottles need a bam bam bam
With a hammer in your fist.
Jean-Jacques, the hairdresser from Biddeford’s horse,
Had a MAINE, with a French accent, but of course!
When on the phone, its not quite etiquette,
To take the cord, and dis- CONNECTICUT.
Introducing his mother,
Jesus said,
“When you meet a VIRGINIA a should bow your head.”
The airport down in Baltimore
Was flooded in a great downpour.
Instructor Mary sighed in vain,
“Now where can MARYLAND this plane?”
In Civil War days, fashion was the theme,
You’d not be caught dead in certain color schemes:
In the SOUTH, DAKOTA grey would be the way to dress
But in the NORTH, DAKOTA grey would get you in a mess.
I met a hula dancer
She was dancing in a line
I asked, “HAWAII?”
And she answered, “I’m fine!”
My dog died in the desert,
He was faithful and true.
I NEVADA friend
Like my good dog blue.
If I didn’t have a bunion on my heel and my toe
IDAHO’d this patch of taters for you long ago!
There was a woman’s baseball team
That nobody could beat,
And could CAROLINA fastball
Into the left field seats!
There were two Carolinas on that team, so I hear,
One was from Norway, the other drank beer.
If you can’t guess their names,
I suppose that’s fine:
One was “Norse Carolina,”
One was “Soused Caroline.”
I poured Wisk on some gravy
I poured Wisk on some beans
I poured WISCONSIN oil stains
But it didn’t come clean.
Fred earned the wings of the Flight Captain’s job
With a lovely assistant, but she was a slob.
He fired the messy girl, whose name was Violet,
Then went out and hired a NEW MEXICO-pilot.
David McMurphy’s mom had a bad cold
The day that she came into his room to scold.
She saw all the clutter and laid down the law
“This is FLORIDA messies’ I eber saw!”
You walked cross country
In seventy-two,
But made it just half-way?
KANSAS be true?
Del filled the washer up with bluing!
Is DELAWARE of what he’s doing?
When lost in the jungle
Or any other instance,
NEBRASKA tiger
For assistance.
As I drink my soybean milk, I banter,
“IOWA debt to the Midwest planter!”
A juggler’s eyes are as sharp as can be,
But what can a man who plays TENNESSEE?
When I am in Fairbanks and lost in the snow,
ALASKA policeman which way to go.
The farmer bragged for hours how
He had acquired a NEW JERSEY cow.
The modern Lone Ranger with a speed radar checks us,
But like his old namesake, he also pro-TEXAS.
The prison guard turned on the “tube” with a grin
And said, “It’s time to Sing Along with MICHIGAIN!”
The cook said, ‘Get ready for lunch real soon;
I’ll be CALIFORNIA all about noon!”
A poor man won lotto, and made a coup,
And won a thousand pencils too.
He bragged, ‘til his friends said, “Get a job,
And don’t get PENNSYLVANIA slob!”
Everyone in Boston’s caught the flu since
Spring, an epidemic nuisance.
And as if it would help us all get through this
They went and named it a
MASSACHUSETTS.
When you land in England
To get a good footing,
You should ask to try
The NEW YORKshire pudding.
Minnie was a screwball,
Minnie was deranged.
You can COLORADOr weird,
But never call her strange!
I said, “Hi, Lee Roy Jones,
Your place looks like a sty.”
He said, “OHIO Mamma
Was just passin’ by!”
In all that Mother Goose they sell you,
There’s just one thing they never tell you,
The old woman who lived in a shoe
Was WASHINGTONs of laundry too.
George was the best, and everyone knew it;
“With GEORGIA-round, we let George do it.”
Louisie Smith was a proper spinster,
So LOUISIANA girlfriend
Went south for the winter.
Doc from Block Island
Had a runt pig,
He prayed to Providence
That it get big.
He named it “Little Island”
As it stood alone,
But he soon RHODE ISLAND to work
And back home.
Indy was afraid to face the weather,
So INDIANA friend went out together.
You can OM in old Frisco,
You can OM in Spokane,
You can OM up in Boulder
So WYOMING Cheyenne?
You can always tuck in Sally,
You can always tuck in Jim,
And after midnight, you
KENTUCKYven Billy-Bob in.
My cat was fast.
His name was Sid.
UTAHt you taw a putty tat…
And maybe you did!
I sit around and wait all day
With nothing much to do.
I wait VERMONTy Python
To come up on the tube.
Nothing could be wetter
Than Puget Sound,
But Flagstaff is the most
ARIZONAround.
The west of you girls can go and have fun,
But dere’s no WEST VIRGINIA
Till her homework is done.
We’ll visit VerMONTANAfew other states,
The rest of New England will have to have to wait.
John went camping with his hampster Tim,
Till a fat man came and sat on him.
He said, “You’ll have to find another camp, sir,
Unless you can find me a
Brand NEW HAMPSHIRE.
Orestes vowed to avenge his dad,
The murdered King Agamemnon.
His cruel mother, unsuspecting, said,
“Now where has little OREGON?”
